March 25, 2009

Jawad Harb is a Palestinian living in Rafah, Gaza, with his wife and six children. Harb has worked with CARE since 2002, managing a program supporting women's centres in Gaza.

It is three months since the first bombs began to fall on Gaza, and I see that this war left much more damaged than just houses. For the past two months, I have been meeting with communities, hearing their experiences, their fears. I realized that it left very deep injuries for these women and families. It changed their lifestyles, the way they think and live together, where they sleep, how they cope. Everything is changed.

At the meetings, the women started to tell stories. You would be amazed by what the women say how their children behave after the war, their attitudes and behaviour change at home and school. Most women say their children refuse to move alone. They refuse to sleep alone in their own rooms. Children do not go to play outside like they used to do, play football or traditional games, because somebody told them that other children were killed out in an airstrike. So now the children are afraid.

There is anxiety, fear, sleep disorders, bed-wetting, even for 14-15 year olds. Some children became violent and aggressive, and want to watch the news, want to know if there's going to be another war.

They are watching the news instead of watching cartoons, or children's movies.

This has put new burdens and responsibility on the mothers, and they're not equipped with the skills to cope with this. CARE is working together with women in community groups across Gaza to help them access psychosocial support for themselves and learn how to counsel their own children.

Before the war, most action plans of the women's groups we work with weren't focused on psychosocial support; most were talking about income-generating projects for women such as rabbit-raising, supporting female farmers, sewing. But after the war, the priorities changed. People need an immediate response to the psychological trauma.

I'm not different from anyone else. Ziad, my six-year-old son, sleeps in my bedroom at least three days a week, and I can't tell him no. My other boys, 12 and 10, stay in my bedroom until they fall asleep, and then I carry them to bed. I check on them at night.

They don't want to do their homework like they did before; it's like pulling teeth. This is what many teachers are saying about all the children. They are absent-minded, they don't do their assignments. They want to watch the news, and find other kids to talk with.

The girls are doing better, doing their homework. But they don't talk much, still. I try to sit with them when I have time, but they are becoming silent people. They are traumatized. They don't know what to say. I try to take them outside, but we can't leave Gaza; they are surrounded by it, every day. We go walking in the city, or go out for lunch, and they can talk and smile, but then they see the destruction. We can't escape it.

There is no reconstruction. Not at all. How can people move forward, if we can't rebuild? Is Gaza going to look like it used to before? How do we remove the signs of destruction everywhere? The rubble is still everywhere. They removed some of it from the main roads, but it is everywhere.

My wife is spending more effort now with the children, trying. The boys are more violent, fighting with each other, so my wife is trying to calm them down. Sometimes my wife calls me at work to ask me to talk to them, to get them to stop fighting, because they won't listen. It is hard to keep them focused. It is more of a burden on my wife. I am working long hours now, working to meet the needs of the people affected by the conflict. There are so many.

People here are closely following closely the negotiations between Fatah and Hamas. I have never seen people more hopeful for reconciliation between both sides. They want to avoid any war in the future. But people are worried; they don't see much progress between Israel and the other side.

In my project, despite all their problems and challenges, the women recently decided to launch a campaign to end violence against women and children. They want to press the government to make sure there are safe places for women and children to go to for counselling and support. Their lives were destroyed, but they are building bridges between different groups in their communities to help protect women and families.

Bena'a, the name of our project, is an Arabic word for building, referring to the program goal of building the capabilities of women and empowering women to stand up for their rights.

In Gaza today, building, and rebuilding, is needed for everything. Not just houses.

Reuters AlertNet is not responsible for the content of external websites.